Your roommate has a very serious facial expression. “Listen,” They say. “Every time you do the dishes, it just seems they’re never actually clean and then I have to rewash them over again.” Your reaction is likely immediately defensive. You have that feeling of indignation in your veins that comes when someone feels unduly criticized. But if you’re anything like me you’ll respond with “Oh. I’ll pay closer attention, but I really hadn’t noticed it. Sorry. ” And the entire transgression will be over.
Only it isn’t over. Far from it. Days go by and the additional flatware scrutiny has forced you to notice: your roommate’s cleaning skills are actually the ones that are lacking. This only further enrages you. How dare they admonish your dishwork?! Theirs is far inferior! There is just so much glaring, crusty, evidence. You can’t wait to find a way to shove it back at them.
Well this is the clearest depiction I can make for confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is the little trick your brain plays to show you “See? You were right this whole time.” But in truth, you’re only looking for the things that fit the pattern. You’re only scrutinizing your roommate’s dishes, not your own. Just like they likely only took mental note of your mistakes and likely overlooked their own. It’s a natural response. You have a theory, your brain searches for evidence to confirm that theory.
But it’s dangerous. Confirmation bias leads to harmful stereotypes and generalizations. That’s why I started with a benign dishes story, because in reality this thought process leads to assertions that are actually far more controversial and significant. In my life, I’ve heard a man claim that “Black drivers never wave me into traffic. I have to sit around for a white person to let me in.”
Well there’s a few things here. 1. No one owes you the courtesy of waving you into traffic…for the record. 2. Your brain mentally noted black people who drove by but not people whose race you don’t notice (namely, your own race). 3. The person who let you in was white. Your brain organizes that scenario into boxes. While it ignored data about white folks passing you by, it emphasized the actions of people of color.
Now you have this stereotype in your head that your brain will continue to reinforce. It will notice every time a black person passes you by, and a white person waves you in. “Aha!” The brain will say “Another point of evidence to my theory.” But when a white person passes you by, your brain may ignore it. When a black person waves you in, your brain will mark that incident an anomaly or the exception. Your brain will trim that data.
It’s a very harmful instinct. One that can lead to hostility and rigidity. It’s a thought process I have to catch myself in every. single. day. Does someone really speak rudely to me specifically? Or do they talk to everyone like that and I only notice when it’s to me? Do people stop looking me in the eye when I mention being gay, or do I look for them to do that and notice it?
It’s complicated, and I wish I had some solution to help shy away from these unscientific conclusions we’re all prone to draw. I don’t. Some of those patterns we notice will be true, many of them will simply be our bias confirming what we believe to be true. The best advice I can give is to look for the opposite like a scientist looking for a null hypothesis. Which essentially reads as : Keep an open mind. Easier said than done.